Michael Vick Wins 15 Cigarettes Betting on Human Fights

After surrendering to U.S. marshals three weeks early, former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick scored his first big victory inside the walls of the Virginia Federal Penitentiary. He quickly became the wealthiest inmate in cell block D Tuesday when he bet all his cigarettes on the heavy underdog in a fight in the prison yard and the long shot won. In all, Vick collected 15 cigarettes from fellow inmates, nearly tripling his previous prison net worth, but also increasing the likelihood that he will be viciously attacked at some point.

"The guys in here don't take too kindly to new guys having control of all the currency," Vick said. "Now that I control the cigarettes I'm going to have to be careful, people are going to be gunning for me. But I've got some buddies I think will look out for me though, like Blow Torch, Snow Plow, Tiny and of course, my roommate, Senior Suffocater. What a great guy he is- always hovering over my bed, making sure I'm asleep and standing at the ready with another pillow in case I need it. But even with those guys I'm just going to need to keep my head on a swivel and be ready to run. If there was one thing I was always good at, it's running. Now if I have to complete some sort of passing drill in order to keep from being brutally beaten then I'm screwed."

Vick said there was no secret to his prison yard gambling success, but did admit that he noticed the underdog in the fight was concealing a shiv. He believes concealed weapons "really level the playing field and make the fights more fair, or at least as fair as a brawl in the clink can be."

"Human fighting is lot more unpredictable than dogs," he said. "Dogs are just dogs. You train them and they bite each other and if they lose you kill them with your bare hands. That's simple. With humans you have to factor in emotions and personalities, two things dogs don't have. Plus, you never know where these guys could be hiding a weapon. Many of them are used to keistering things, be it from smuggling drugs or being someone's bitch in here, so you've got to be real careful because anyone can beat anyone. 'Any given state-required mandatory exercise period,' that's the saying in here."