As the NFL prepares for only its second regular season game off United States soil, the league is strategically forgetting to tell residents of London that the football game to be played there this weekend is an "American" football game. The game between the New York Giants and the Miami Dolphins is being promoted as a "football match" and, in an effort to even further draw in soccer fans, many of the posters feature Lawrence Tynes and Jay Feely, the two teams' kickers."We're also prepared to offer free crisps, or chips- whatever these people call French Fries," NFL spokesman James Silver said. "Did you know they call elevators 'lifts' here? This is a crazy, backwards place. I punched someone in the face the other day because they asked me if I smoked fags. That reminds me, have you heard about our ads featuring Jason Taylor?"
The league is also preparing an ad campaign featuring the NFL's prettiest player, Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor. Taylor will attend a photo shoot where he will dress up in a tuxedo and stand in front of a mirror pretending he's a James Bond like character. Taylor also calls this "Tuesday."
"I'm really excited," Taylor said. "I really think I can be considered a David Beckham like figure when this is all said and done. I know I can't rock the different hairstyles, but I do regularly moisturize my face with Neutrogena products and my nails are always spotless. Ooh, I really hope they like me. I know I'm pretty, but it's always nice to hear, you know?"Some Londoners that have caught word of the trick are not pleased. Many have demanded a refund and some have decided they will not attend out of spite.
"Those Yanks lied to us," said London resident Thomas Martin. "Those wankers said there was going to be a football match with a lot of kicking around the pitch and one team would probably score nil. I thought that sounded great because if I'm going to show up to watch a sporting event I need to see lots of little white guys doing lots of kicking. Well little did I know they were talking about an American football match and the team that will be doing all the kicking is going to be the one that doesn't score. Seems strange to me. I can't grasp the concept that a team that's always kicking would not score the most and therefore be the best. Otherwise this is just another barbaric American ritual and I won't be a part of it."
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After Europe's falling out with David Beckmen it's clear Europeans were ready for something new. Its no suprise that this experiment was successful but the sell out crowd and level of hype created by playing over there was unbelievable. Europe is obviously ready to embrace football. Soon the NFL can tap into talented athletes from around the world. Kudos on a job well done by the commissioner's office.
Europe is ready for something new? Yeah, every European country now hates the sport they've been playing for hundreds of years because queer-ass beckham left. "Damn that Beckham, he went to America, I hate him. Let's watch American football to get even with him". Also, I don't scrawny europeans with b.o. and weird nipples playing in the NFL. Besides that, the only ones who could take it are German women.
I see by your name, you like Favre. Great guy, unfortunately, that also means you probably from Wis. You should send a telegraph to you neighbors and let them know the majority of Europeans do not like America or American culture and probably loathe the idea of the NFL in Europe.
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