Henry Claims Marijuana Use Was Form of Birth Control

After a allegedly testing positive for marijuana and hence violating the NFL's substance abuse policy for a third time, Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry is facing a year long suspension. However, Henry is not going down without a fight, claiming that his use of narcotics was a form of personal birth control. Henry has fathered nine children by nine different women in four different states and he's been adamant that smoking weed was a necessary step to prevent a tenth illegitimate child from being born.

"I'm not gonna stop having sex with a different lady in every city we travel to and I don't always have an extra Magnum with me," Henry said. "So the only way for me to avoid planting my seed in another woman I barely know is to get baked. If you have a better suggestion I'd love to hear it."

Henry has filed suit against the NFL in an attempt to prevent them from examining his "B-sample" which is a necessary test to confirm his initial positive result. League spokesman Michael Mendoza, citing long standing confidentiality policies, refused to comment, only saying that he was aware of Henry's fertility and would not comment on the commissioner's office official stance on player potency.

"Commissioner Goodell would be the first to congratulate a player for impregnating a woman with whom he is married and/or having familiar relations," Mendoza said. "But it would be irresponsible for us to endorse this bastardizing of the National Football League. Sure, our players are paid to be barbaric animals on Sundays, but when they leave the field we expect them to carry themselves with a certain level of class."

Henry, a seventh year back out of Tennessee has called weed his "personal Saltpeter," adding that "when I get blazed all I care about are Milk Duds and Cool Ranch Doritos."

"There's rarely even a point when I could think about sex," he said. "And even if I did I'm usually laughing too hard to even think about getting a proper erection. Plus, my eyes are halfway shut. Now how am I gonna get somebody pregnant like that? I'm telling you, the stuff works every time."

Henry has vowed to do whatever it takes to fight the league as hard as possible, even offering to get some "sticky icky icky" and get stoned with them to prove that it's the only way for him to show interest in anything other than anonymous female partners. If that doesn't work, Henry has said he will try to say the pot was not his and that he got it from Ricky Williams.