One day after the NBA denied a New York Daily News report that the league had disciplined six referees for violating anti-gambling rules, the NBA announced that its probe of league officials would continue until they received the hottest tips and possible parlay picks for this weekend's college and professional football action, as well as the name of a good bookie."We're not just going to allow these people to withhold gambling tips that could be helpful to all of us," NBA commissioner David Stern said at a news conference Monday. "I've dug myself into a pretty deep little hole here and I'd appreciate these gentleman sharing any helpful tips they can before some goon shown up and breaks my legs."
Aside from Tim Donaghy, other referees have divulged their own sports gambling secrets to NBA executives, often at a introductory rate of ten percent off the original price for the first three months. Some of the most popular tips come from methods like "Dick Bavetta's Home Dogs Hoedown" and "Steve Javie's Lead-Pipe Lock Jamboree." One exec, who did not wish to be named because he didn't want his wife to know how much money he'd won, estimated that he had made over $100,000 thanks to various referee's tips.
While it had been widely assumed that the NBA's widespread gambling problem was confined to the refereeing ranks, league spokesman Tim Frank assured reporters that most of the executives preferred a little action, be it on NBA games or other sports, just to make some of the games a little more interesting.
"We've all got the itch," Frank said. "And when you get an itch, what do you do? You scratch it. Look, I'm getting tired of losing my teasers every week, but now there's hope. Since learning Tim Donaghy's easy four step system, I've won 68 percent of my bets and that figure is climbing. I've lost 15 pounds, I have more confidence, I've gotten involved in real estate and I've left my wife for a much younger, more beautiful woman. It's like it says in 'The Gambler,' 'If you're gonna play the game, boy, you gotta learn to play it right.' Words to live by."
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