Romo Admits He Was Distracted by Lecherous Man Seated Next to Simpson Sunday

After suffering through one of his worst games of the season in a loss to the Philadelphia Eagles, the first in which he didn't throw a single touchdown pass, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo refused to use his sprained right thumb as an excuse. However, he would admit to being distracted by the lustful man sitting closely to his girlfriend, singer Jessica Simpson, in a luxury box at Texas Stadium during Sunday's game. The man, identified as Jessica's father Joe Simpson, was seen leaning in closely to whisper in her ear, aggressively rubbing her back and grabbing her thighs and laughing.

"I'll say that my thumb had nothing to do with the way I played today," Romo said Sunday. "It's just difficult to concentrate on the game when every time you look up at your girlfriend she's being molested by some creep with his shirt half unbuttoned and spikey frosted tips. I'm not sure who that pervert was, but I'm definitely getting Jessica a private box from now on."

Upon being informed that the "pervert" he spoke of was, in fact, Jessica's dad, Romo backtracked and claimed his remarks were in jest. "I knew that, I'm just kidding," he said. "Of course it was her father, you don't think I could figure that out by the way he was massaging her ass? C'mon, give me some credit."

For his part, Joe Simpson denied there was anything going on between he and Jessica in the luxury box and said he doesn't understand where people get their misconceptions about his relationship with his daughters.

"I think a lot of it stems from jealousy," the former Baptist minister said. "People see this beautiful girl and then they see me and they think, 'What's she doing with him?' Well, what she's doing with me is I'm her father and therefore, while her Heavenly Father owns her soul, I own her body...her voluptuous, sexy body. Look, my daughter is sexy. And she has big breasts that no pink Cowboys jersey can cover up. Is it wrong that seeing her in that jersey made me want to rip off her clothes right there? No, of course not. Aside from the presence of cameras, I also didn't do it out of respect for Tony. Look, I'm sorry if he was upset or if he finds my constantly hovering over her distracting, but it's never going to stop. Jessica and I have a beautiful, open relationship. We're very affectionate with each other, kind of like Angelina Jolie and her brother. He'll just have to get used to that or get lost."

He then cupped his daughter's breasts and proclaimed, "These are mine, cowboy!"