Ravens Secure in Belief They Out Danced the Patriots

The Baltimore Ravens gave the undefeated New England Patriots all they could handle Monday night before ultimately falling 27-24, but many in the Baltimore organization were upset and disappointed by what they felt was biased and disrespectful officiating. However, numerous Ravens were fuming about another issue. Many have yet to concede complete defeat to the Patriots due to the fact that they are so confident they thoroughly out danced, gyrated and air humped New England that the organization insists they will not let the issue die until the team receives some sort of acknowledgment.

"We were up that entire game, dancing after every insignificant tackle and flexing after every three yard run," running back Willis McGahee said. "Nobody's talking about that. I didn't see anyone on their defense dancing at all. Now that might be because they're all in their late 60s and they think dancing is a sign that the body is possessed by a demon, but still we really dominated in that aspect of the game. Of course, maybe if we hadn't wasted so much energy frolicking around and posing for the jumbotron we would've been able to stop them at the end. Still, did you see Ray (Lewis) doing his pregame seizure dance. He was so intense that I actually, truly thought he was having a seizure. I asked the trainers for a big wooden spoon to stick in his mouth because I didn't want him to bite through his tongue."

Linebacker Bart Scott, who threw a penalty flag into the stands and had to be restrained from attacking an official, said he felt his actions were necessary in order to draw attention away from the Patriots and to the Ravens. "Everyone was talking about how they were going to go undefeated and then to have the refs take the game away from us like that at the end, I guess my emotions got the better of me," Scott said. "But I'd do it again. I know it was an embarrassing meltdown on national TV, but I'd definitely do it again. We've got a lot of fantastic dancers on this team and I won't rest until people realize that. Plus, I want people to realize that there's more than one crazy linebacker on this team who won't hesitate to kill you should the situation arise."

Ravens head coach Brian Billick acknowledged that his team out danced the Patriots, but also insisted that was nothing new. "We're the dancingest team in the league," he said. "Listen, what good is being in front of millions of people on TV and not trying to do your best and, of course, look your best? That's my philosophy, that's why I always look great. I know I'm a handsome, charming, intelligent man and I want that to come across. There's no more debonair coach in the National Football League than Mr. Brian Billick, and I hope that my team is a reflection of that. Because if there's one thing I love, it's looking at reflections of myself."