THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES: Isiah Thomas

Every week on PRAY FOR MOJO we conduct "The Airing of Grievances." We've got a lot of problems with you people, now you're going to hear about it:

My hate-affair with Isiah Thomas began in 1991 when he and the rest of his dirtbag buddies on the old "Bad Boys" Detroit Pistons teams walked off the court after getting their asses handed to them 4-0 by Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls. Nevermind the fact that they had repeatedly beaten and bruised Jordan over the years, the very fact that he had finally bested them drove the Pistons crazy, or more specifically, drove their angry, pouting captain Thomas crazy. Crazy to the point that not only did he not have the class and dignity to admit defeat and walk off the court as a man, but he got others to follow and stoop to his level.

Which leads us to today, where Isiah is still showing that patented sophistication that has truly become his trademark. He's still somehow the head coach and GM of the New York Knicks despite the team's continually embarrassing performance on his watch and, more importantly, despite the fact that he not two months ago lost his employer an $11.6 million sexual harassment lawsuit. Well, there's a perfectly good explanation for both predicaments. He sexually harassed that female Knicks employee because he was in love with her and he wanted it to be like "Love and Basketball." (Fourth paragraph from the bottom of this link. He actually said this, loser.) And the team is in total shambles because the fans are booing. Or at least, that Isiah's excuse this time.

"We're missing layups because you're booing," Thomas yelled at a group of fans behind the bench during a recent game. He also blamed an airball on the boos. He's right, what else could it be? It couldn't have something to do with his total ineptitude as a coach and an executive. Or his inability to field a competitive team of players that aren't selfish, lazy or just going through the motions, kinda like him.

But you see, Ol' Zeke doesn't take not getting his way very well. Despite the fact that he has gone through life operating under the guise of being a smiling, baby faced charmer, he is in actuality a narcissistic prick. Outside of actually playing the game of basketball, Isiah Thomas has been a total failure and everything he has touched in his post playing career has disintegrated quickly after he worked his magic.

He single handedly ran an entire basketball league, the Continental Basketball Association, into the ground. As the owner of the CBA, Thomas only needed a couple of years to destroy the league, which had been in existence since 1946. In the end, as a final appropriate Isiah stamp, the teams did not receive their final paychecks. He then went on to become part owner of the Toronto Raptors, where he left after a dispute with management and allegations of inappropriate conduct. Um, does anyone see a pattern forming here?

Isiah gets hired, Isiah smiles and acts charming, Isiah reveals his true self, Isiah fails, Isiah gets asked to leave. It won't be long now, his four year tenure with the Knicks will end soon, hopefully in some spectacularly embarrassing way. Of course, people have been saying he was gone for, oh, about four years now, so who the hell really knows. He wore out his welcome with me about 20 years ago- actually he never really had a welcome to wear out. But as we've seen, he has a tendency to take care of himself. So take heart Knicks fans, maybe once he's gone the booing at Madison Square Garden can stop and then, and only then, will the Knicks' layups finally start to fall and the airballs will finally hit rim.