Lazy NCAA Selection Committee Admits They Just Copied Teams from 'Bracketology'

One day after completing another seemingly complicated seeding process, the members of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Selection Committee admitted they just looked at ESPN.com's Bracketology feature and filled out their brackets ten minutes before they were due. With the business of seeding the teams out of the way, much of the committee's meeting time was spent playing Wii and making prank phone calls, among other things.

"Basically, we just looked at what that Joe Lunardi had and changed around a couple of the seeds so that it didn't look too obvious," Max Strom, chairman of the tournament committee said. "Little trick I learned in college. If you're going to cheat, you gotta switch some answers to ensure you get them wrong. That way the teacher won't have any reason to confront you afterward. Hey, how else was I going to pass accounting?"

"That pumpkin head does all the leg work for us and we just hang out. I was usually in the back on the Gazelle and I had my headphones in so I'd just kinda zone out, you know? Then we'd order Thai food and go home early. Anyway, I just heard that sweaty little ball of cheesesteak grease starts his projections for the next season as soon as each year's tourney ends. That's great news! Looks like I can schedule a little vacay next March. Hell, the way I see it, I've earned it. There's always time to pursue this committee's other endeavors."

When pressed as to what those other endeavors were Strom declined to comment, but one committee member, speaking on condition of anonymity, revealed that members were trying to catch up on the seasons of "Friends" on DVD as well as complete a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. "It's a glow-in-the-dark wild stallion puzzle," the source confirmed.

While it was unclear how many years this method has been in practice, it was clear that it was a system that NCAA committee members would be using in the future. Most said it allowed them to grab a refreshing afternoon power nap and catch up on some reading. They even formed a book club.

"I don't know anything about any puzzles or naps or book clubs," Strom said. "I tried to use the time more constructively. The other day I spent six hours trying to fling a whole deck of cards into a hat with varying levels of success. I'll tell ya, without that pear-shaped loser's projections I don't know what we'd do. They're imperative for us to be able to focus on the other business at hand. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Pilates class to attend."